Updated: Jan 4
I would say most of humanity is walking around with confusion right now and not really clear with what’s next around them and also in the world. I say we all slow down and stop running from ourselves! I feel like society has made it so easy for humans to escape not only life, but also run from ourselves, that is when we get uncomfortable. We don’t make enough time to sit with ourselves and hear our real voice. We are running around gossiping, finding out the next new news, or when to go and get our next vaccine, again I am not saying anything is not okay to do. But, when is enough, enough? Society has programmed us this way and we have disconnected ourselves from ourselves and each other. Its busy and just never stops ---
When we do sit, we have children to tend to, are supper exhausted from the day, or just tired from working endless hours on someone else’s dream. Our husband or boyfriend comes home, dinner is not done, maybe kids or family have appointments, then we swallow a glass of wine and say I am fine …Sound like you? We have to all start to lift this consciousness of feeding into the systems and people around us. Really sit with ourselves and see what’s going on and really feel our feelings and know that it is safe to do so. I know that in my life, that has been one of the hardest things for me to do …almost like a reassessment of where I am, what I doing and what I am feeling. I have had to identify the lower projections not only what I put on myself but, where I placed them on other. I kept having expectations and so often found myself disappointed. It’s like my mind was awakened, but my mental and physical body would be stuck and not let me move forward. Sound familiar? I had to discipline myself and sit with myself and really do some deep diving on what was next.
Some great questions that I asked were; What experiences do I want to have? What am I not speaking up about? Where am I not setting a boundary? Where do I need to go and connect with more like-minded people- besides yoga???? What beliefs have I taken on from my family that I don’t agree with?
I think my most profound channel was hearing to end blame and start taking responsibility. I mean I have always been responsible right? Great job, amazing relationships, alpha female who made something of herself, great connections, owned a home, had a nice car…. really? No, I mean true responsibility for myself and my habits and acting out of my belief systems. In spite of the misery behind it all, I needed to see the deeper energy and choose a new way. Develop new habits, say I am ready…. even when I was not. It wasn’t until “cracking yourself open” came alive!! I was home one day after being let go from a job, and drew a picture of my heart. Then I put both hands on my heart and asked my heart what it was full of …….and I listened. Well, it would not stop talking…remember when…., and she ……. and then the old boyfriend, or the fight with my family or lady next door. Whatever wanted to come up, came up…. lots of bitterness and anger for sure.
I remember crying so hard, I couldn’t even see the paper anymore. I realized I had to do this work to be free of the emotions and pain that I held on to. It was old stuff for sure. Things that I didn’t process and pushed down. I decided I was going to forgive these people, and myself and deal with these repressed emotions one by one deep inside my heart which was f$%^& everything up in my life…behind the scenes. It was like a little shadow casting over me at every movement. The minute I chose me, everything started to find me and choose me. It was magical.
I learned to just do it and not run from myself. Now I say…What if everything worked in my favor? I am telling you it works. The Cracking yourself open project is something that I co-created from my pain in my heart. Now, I really don’t know why I held on to so much for so long. Maybe I wasn’t ready? Who knows. I hope that you don’t hold on for too long either and crack yourself open!!
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Love over fear,